Harry Potter and the crazy activity week
by badger-dude
Summary: Dumbledore is bored and all hell breaks lose as he 'borrows' 10 people from the matrix, Larry Rotter(My parody :D) and LOTR and pits them together in a seris of activities. SEND ME YOUR IDEAS VIA REVEIWS
1. Default Chapter

Harry Potter and the random activity week:

Summary: Albus Dumbledore decides to organize a 'fun' week and invites loads of other random people from various films. Warning may contain hints of hobbit slash!

Note: This is not supposed to be canon or have any form of grammar/plot or anything

Chapter 1/1 (Hopefully. God/Allah/Buddha/ Mary/ Pingu/ Valar/ Vishnu/ Lord/ Lady/ other-deity save us if there was more) :

Albus Dumbledore was bored.

"I know" he said to Minerva McGonagall who had randomly appeared in his office "Lets have a film festival!"

"Yay!" yelled a random portrait

"I have a better Idea!" Said Nearly Headless Nick "Lets have a huge orgy!"

His comment was met with silence

Suddenly Minerva said "Lets have a fun week!"

"Yay" yelled the same portrait

XOXOXOX

Breakfast the next day

Everybody was sitting in the great hall eating when Dumbledore stood up

"Since the author cannot be bothered to add any description or anything to this speech ill be brief and say were having a fun week with lots of sick twisted contests!"

"Yay!" yelled a random 1st year named Rand. M. Kid who shall not appear again

Dumbledore ignored that comment

"Anyhow I've decided to bring in a few characters to make up a team to represent the authors fav films"

"Introducing team LOTR!"

Aragorn, Legolas, Gimli, Gollum, Sam, Gandalf, Frodo, Elrond, Arwen and Bilbo appear

"What? Where are we!" yelled Aragorn. He was ignored.

"Introducing Team Matrix!"

Neo, Trinity, Morpheus, Agent smith, Cypher, Mouse, the random kid who opens the dock named kid, Niobe, and The twins

"Introducing team Larry Rotter!"

Larry Rotter, Runt Measles, Humping, Drinking, Lord FannyRash, Doodle Dumbarse, Mrs Pigg, Nobby, Chow-Phat and Nolife

"And finally our own Hogwarts team may the following pupils please stand up:

Harry Potter,

Ron Weasley

Hermione Granger

Draco Malfoy

Ginny Weasley

Dobby

Blaise Zambini

Severus Snape

And last but not least Fred and George Weasley!"

"Arghhhh!" yelled Harry upon spotting Larry "You look just like me but more rabid!"

"Arghhhh!" yelled Larry upon spotting Harry "You look just like me but less rabid!"

"Arghhhh!" yelled Agent Smith upon spotting Elrond "You look just like me but with pointy ears, a dress and dodgy hair!"

"Arghhhh!" yelled Elrond upon spotting Agent Smith "You look just like me but without pointy ears and dodgy hair and with dodgy eyebrows and fake sunglasses and wearing a suit!"

"Arghhhh!" yelled Fred upon spotting George "You look just like me!"

"Arghhhh!" yelled George upon spotting Fred "You look just like me!"

"Arghhhh!" yelled Snape upon spotting all the others "What?"

"Never mind!" said the author chucking away the keyboard

A small scream is heard as the keyboard impacts against the walls.

"What?" asked the author at the looks he was getting

"Never mind!" said Severus

"Right then" said Dumbledore "The events list is as follows:

Sack race

Archery

Football (Soccer) penalty shootout

Duelling

Quidditch (But with 1 player as keeper/chaser and one as beater/chaser

And some others the author wants you to send in with your reviews but will add later!"

"Why is there 10 to a team?" asked Rand. M. Kid

"I thought you said he wouldn't appear again?" pointed out Harry

"Oh my bad."

Rand. M. Kid disappeared to be replaced by Rand. M. X. Tra

"Ok take two!" yelled Snape. "What?" he asked as everyone looked at him weirdly and slowly edged away

"Why is there 10 to a team?" asked Rand. M. X. Tra

"Because there are currently 5 events. There will be two competitors in each event, but the same person may not compete in two different events!"

"Oh ok" said Rand. M. X. Tra before returning to sticking blu-tack up his sleeping friends nose

"Anyway lets just skip to the next scene shall we?"

"NOOOOOOOO" yelled Snape

More weird looks and shuffling away followed

"Ok everyone's dismissed. I want you other competitors who have know idea what the heck's going on to randomly know and choose who will be competing for each event!"

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Random abandoned charms room #231 aka Fellowship HQ

"I don't see why it can't be called 'middle earth creatures HQ or something'" said Lord Elrond "I mean not EVERYONE here is in the fellowship!"

"Oh shut up!" said Gandalf smacking him round the head with the Ebil staff of DOOM tm "We need to choose our candidates for the events!"

"What is this Qwadmidtch anyway?" asked Sam

"Don't you know? It's a game us wizards play" said Rand. M. X. Tra who ahd just walked in.

"Who are you and why the hell are you here?" asked Gandalf

"I need the list of competitors....."

"fine here it is" Gandalf conjured up a piece of paper and a biro and yelled to his team mates

"GROUP HUDDLE!"

"Ewwww! Said Frodo upon spotting the... thing he was touching "Gollum's drooling over my tacky bit of jewellery again!"

"WE wantzzzz it though!!! Itz mine, my own, my precious!!!!! Ours! No! Mine! Mine! Mine!"

"I swear you died....." pointed out Frodo "And for the last time this is a free ring I found in a Kellogg's packet not The One Ring TO RULE THEM ALL!"

"Yeah, yeah whatever just give me the frikkin' list" shouted Rand. M. X. Tra over the din

XOXOXOX

Same time Potions Lab/ Torture chamber #122 AKA 'Zion'

"Cool! What does this one do?" said trinity as she poked a classic stretching rack

"It stretches you"

"Oh"

"you know.... "started Agent Smith before trailing off

"What?" asked Neo, despite the person he was talking two being his mortal enemy

"Why is the room called Zion? I mean... not all of us are rebels"

"It's called Zion because I want it to now shut up!"

"Fine! I will!"

"You do that!"

"Ok that's going to far! Now I turn you into an evil clone of DOOM tm!!!

"Guys.... Shut up! " Yelled Morpheus determined to win "We need our team roster...."

XOXOXOXOX

Same time Slytherin/Steal the Ring common room/ sty "Warty Hog land"

Larry passed the room slowly, having already 'requisitioned' the room from the Slytherins.

"Right so what's the plan?"

XOXOXOX

DA room "Team Hogwarts HQ"

"Right so what's the plan?" asked Draco

"Why are you being so nice all of the sudden?" asked Hermione

"I honestly don't know. I mean every fan-fic usually have me as the good guy and I rather like the ones that set me up with you and Ginny so....." Draco winked at the girls causing them to swoon

"EWWWW! That's my sister ferret boy! Im gonna do my typical reaction an go off in a strop now!"

XOXOXOX

1 hour later....

Dumbledore was sitting in his office when the lists of all the teams competitors and event appeared on his desk as if by magic (Well it WAS a magical school with moving staircases, dungeons, ghosts, she-males, Quidditch and broom cupboards so why can't they have other strange occurrences???)

Curious the old man looked down at the team rosters:

Team Fellowship (and another neat scrawl) _and the other freaks nobody likes_

Sack race

Gollum Bilbo

Archery

Legolas Arwen

Football (Soccer) penalty shootout

Sam Frodo

Duelling

Gimli, Aragorn

Quidditch

Gandalf Elrond

Team Zion

Sack race

Mouse, Kid

Archery

The twins

Football (Soccer) penalty shootout

Morpheus Cypher

Duelling

Neo, Agent smith

Quidditch

Trinity, Niobe

Team Warty Hogs

Sack race

Doodle Dumbarse Mrs Pigg

Archery

Nobby Chow-Phat

Football (Soccer) penalty shootout

Nolife Runt Measles

Duelling

Lord FannyRash Larry Rotter

Quidditch

Humping Drinking

Team Hogwarts!

Sack race

Dobby Ginny Weasley

Archery

Fred and George Weasley

Football (Soccer) penalty shootout

Hermione Granger Ron Weasley

Duelling

Harry Potter, Severus Snape

Quidditch

Draco Malfoy, Blaise Zambini

"hmmm" said Dumbledore "interesting


	2. h

**Cheesy Harry Potter music** (Dun dee dun dun dee dooooo doooo dun deeee dun de de doooooooo……..)

Dumbledore layed back in his chair. It was all going exactly to plan…. Soon Cbeebies would be under his control!

But back to the story now…..

XOXOXOX

The next day

XOXOXOX

**Cheesy Harry Potter music** (Dun dee dee dun dun dee dooooo dun deeee dun de de ……..)

The next morning everyone was sitting down at breakfast when suddenly'Uncle Fucker' or to other Albus Dumbledore stood up to make an announcement

"Hello people. I've just decided that since im the most important guy here I can make the rules. First I am the judge in the competition. Second all other competitors other than the Hogwarts team have to wear pink and purple polka dotted…."

Suddenly a random bang goes off and there standing in the middle of the hall is……………………………………………………………………………………………………….

"**Albus Dumbledore!"**

"That's ma name don't we…"

"**Shut up! You cheat Mr Dumbledore!"**

"Hey I won that pokemon card fair and sq…"

"**Silence!"**

"**Good now you will hire no less than 4 Muggles for judges including another for a commentator. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME!"**

"ye…yea…yes..sir…"

"**GOOD"**

Suddenly the doors burst open and the man disappeared as everyone was watching the approaching form of McGonagal

"Albie! Albie!"

"Err…. Yes Minnie…."

"Have you heard!"

Albus looked puzzeled

"Heard what?

"the news!"

"What news?"

"The news about the crazy muggle authour who is writing a seris of books about Harry Potter and his life here!"

Albus reared up to his full height (5,2) and let out a roar

"Sorry beans for breakfast what were you saying?"

XOXOXOXOX

Hermione walked into the Hogwarts HQ to find Draco Malfoy curled up in a corner rocking back and foth while buttering something about fishies and bagginses

"Wazzup Drakkie?"

"ARGHHHHH! NOT YOU AS WELL?"

She looked puzzeled

"Wha…?"

"have you looked out of the window?"

Hermione made her way over to a random window and looked out onto a scene that made her eyes water….

A/n: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA


End file.
